Shy Girls Talking To Strangers

Shit is fucked up. I am fucked up. My life is a roller coaster and I don't know if I am capable of getting off unless I just close my eyes and jump. Or maybe someone has to push me.

So I'm leaving. I've decided. What am I going to do with my college education, you might ask? Well, let me tell you. I am going to skip over half of my classes (seriously, I haven't been to Finance 303 in 5 weeks), barely pass my last two semesters, dropping my GPA from a 3.9 to a who-knows-what, and in March I'm going to get in my car and drive to who-knows-where. And sleep on people's couches, and work in a coffee shop, or try to get a job at a flower shop. And mostly I'll just sit around in coffee shops all day and talk to people. I just want to be around people, mostly. I've found that I quite enjoy them, and that they aren't nearly as terrifying as I once imagined. And then I want to leave those people behind, and I want to be okay. Because change is really hard to deal with, and I think I need some self-imposed practice before I'm really, truly down to go with the flow.

And...I'm going to figure out who I am, I guess. Because I really want to like myself, and I really want to love myself, and I really want to respect myself, but she keeps eluding me somehow, and I keep feeling disappointed and confused about what is left behind. So I guess I just feel like the only way to really find her is to do the scariest shit possible, which is: show up in a new town all alone and make friends with strangers.

Go.

Oh, and here's what I think about boys: