Last weekend I decided to go to Austin on a whim...the great escape from myself and everyone else in the world where I could sit alone for 9 hours straight, in and out of cell phone service, with no responsibilities and a quest to re-find my disappeared childhood. I've started to feel like despite the past two years and all that I have learned about myself, somehow I was ready to serve it up on a platter once again. And not only have I lost myself because of it but I've begun to hate myself for it as well. It becomes difficult when you find yourself intolerable because ultimately you don't have a whole lot of options. So I made my way to Austin for some cousinly support, just like we always dreamed we would do as children, watching our Mothers support one another through their life traumas. I felt like a fully growed woman, staying at Jenny and Adam's apartment for the first time, rather than my Grandmother or Aunt's house. And, despite what this photo might suggest, we really do love each other.
And on another whim, I decided to drive to Albuquerque the next day and go to see Paolo Nutini in concert. All in all, it was nice to be whim-y for awhile. My car got towed and I got a speeding ticket in the middle of nowhere in Texas and the trip cost me $300 more than I was planning (even with refraining from buying any skirts or shoes!), but ultimately it was worth it. I guess there is really no monetary value to be placed on one's sanity. Or this:
But now I am feeling the itch to travel. Itchy feet that need to be sporadic and spontaneous and planless and wandery. I am tired of school and tired of boys and tired of work. I just want to be a gypsy from now on.
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